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Banned for so many incredibly long and stupid bans. I don't have time for that. They should be like: "Banned because you deserve it."
Banned to spend the rest of your waking life reading because you're too lazy.
Banned because I am the banned wizards
Banned for wearing a tuba mouth as a hat, so that you are a band wizard.
Banned because the only instrument I wear is mayonnaise.
Banned because mayonnaise is absolutely disgusting and so are you by association.
^ banned for not knowing the difference between ketchup and catsup
^banned because you ate too much catfish which was fed with catnip
Banned for feeding catnip to kittens.
^ banned for feeding humanoid aliens to Flerkens