Done! But please try to use that time-altering technology only for the forces of good.

I wish I could write as fast as I read.

Granted. However, you now have dyslexia.

I wish I could clean my dishes just by touching them.

Granted now you have food stuck to your hands for all eternity.

I wish I had a coffee maker that didn't need filters.

Granted, you now have a french press...

Am I doing this right?

Well, I wish for nothing.

Granted, from this day forward you will receive nothing.

I wish the earth was flat.

Granted, you live in the middle ages and are burned because you defend the theory that the earth is round.

I wish Bill Murray will accept to film ghostbusters 3.

Granted - However, it's too late Harold Ramis is Dead.

I wish I could stay home from work tomorrow.

Granted but your computers all blow up.

I wish I had a hover car.

Granted but with any traction for the tires it doesn't go anywhere.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner

Granted.

However, since now everyone has fallen in love with you life has become a hell on earth.

You find nowhere to be alone and are constantly hounded by zealous, fiendishly adoring fans willing to do anything just to get a piece of you. Unable to cope with this barrage night and day you crumple under the pressure and end your life.

Another sad sad victim of frankfurtricide.....





I wish I could stop sneezing.

Granted but you immediately become inflicted with eternal hiccups.

I wish I could vulcan mind meld with people.

Granted, but you can only do it with pedophiles.

I wish for world peace.

Granted, the world ends in the peace of Death.

I wish for infinite credit in my bank account.

Ah, if only you could remember your PIN number.

I wish that blue jeans were considered suitable for formal occasions..

Granted, but you are abducted by formal occasion gnomes, and forced to work in the salt mines under their secret city somewhere in Gnometopia.

I wish there was more bacon in most food dishes.