Since I spent almost all of my money on the GOG christmas sales I am starting a new service on this website in order to make some money

I will kick your ass for €25. That's right, for a limited time only I'm offering to beat the shit out of you for the super low introductory rate of €25. I accept PayPal or cash only (you are responsible for all meals and transportation).

For an extra €25, I'll kick your neighbor's ass and beat their pets. Women and children will also cost an additional €5 because I have to put up with constant bitching. If you live in a tall apartment with kids, I'll give you a €5 discount because I can toss your kids through the window

Unless they're fat in which case I'll charge you €100 extra for pissing me off.

Please contact me by leaving a reply in this thread or send me a PM

How much to kick tinyE in his testicle?

I'll provide the same service, only at €20.99. And I give an extra 10% discount to fat people, because of the enhanced cushioning.

I thought this said I will lick your ass for some reason...

i too thought I saw this but then i read it again and was disappointed :(

Ahem...

Do I get my money back if you get beaten up instead?

Someone should offer Judas $10 to change the thread title to that. :P

€50

Somehow I got the feeling, you'll be more successful offering your ass to be kicked for bucks. You might even have to introduce a waiting list, for recovery reasons...