Now closed!
Games

Evil Genius won by Theta_Sigma!
Edna & Harvey: Harvey's New Eyes won by lugum!
Megarace 1+2 won by RWarehall!
Torchlight? Y U NO WANT?

Nothing special, just my leftovers from a couple sales. I've been waiting to give these away in the ninja thread, but since that's a hot mess, I'll do a proper giveaway. Except now instead of fighting for codes, you must fight for my amusement. >:3

Da Rules:

1: Say you're in for which game and tell a joke.
2: You can only be in for 1 game and you only get 1 joke, so make it good!
3: Jokes should be short, simple, and silly. Some good examples here(terrible jokes are sometimes the best ;) ).
4: Jokes don't have to be 100% original, but if I've heard it before it might decrease you're chances, so quoting movies or stand-up might not be in your best interest.

Winners will be decided by whoever makes me laugh the most for each game, so this is open to anyone. I'll let this go for a few days and depending on the amount of entries, I might add more games from current sales. I really just want to see some good jokes in here, I need a laugh. :)

I'm in.

A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender looks and goes "what'll ya have?" to which the seal replies "anything but a Canadian Club on the rocks!"

In for Evil Genius. :)

+1 for such a great giveaway.

edit: regardless if I win or not, I hope the joke brings a smile to your face. :)

A little old lady is walking down the street one day and passes a photographer's store where a sign is posted "Old Photographs Restored! We'll make any old photograph look brand new again" Thinking about the old picture of her beloved Irving who passed away many years ago, she decides to take it in to have it restored.

The next day she enters the photographer's shop with the picture in hand. The man behind the counter exclaims "We can fix this picture up good as new! Would you like us to put him in a more modern looking suit, Ma'am?

"You can do that?", the little old lady asks. "I always hated that suit!"

"Sure can", says the store owner. "We can fix anything!"

"Can you put him in his favorite park?", the old lady asks.

"Yep! We can change anything you'd like.", the owner exclaims.

Well, can you take off his hat? I hated that hat!", the old lady replies.

"Absolutely! Can you tell me how he wore his hair?" the owner asks.

"Well when you take off the hat, you'll see!", says the old lady.


~Not in but thanks for the GA, Exoanthrope! Just had to relate one of my favorite jokes ;-p~

Not in.

Einstein, Pascal, and Newton are playing a game of hide and seek. Einstein is it, and closes his eyes and begins to count. Pascal runs off and hides, but Newton draws a meter square on the ground and stands in it. Einstein opens his eyes, sees Newton, and yells, "Pascal! You're it!"

You said that terrible jokes are sometimes the best, so here goes: A mushroom goes to a crowded night club, but the doorman won't let him in. The mushroom says, "Come on, let me in! I'm a fun-guy!"

I warned you it would be terrible! But hopefully, you agree with me that it's in the "so bad, it's funny" category. Please count me in for Edna & Harvey: Harvey's New Eyes. Thank you. +1

So a krogan and a salarian have landed on a rachni world for a top-secret mission. So the two guys are climbing up a hill, going through this nasty green fog.. And as they get near the top, they come out of the fog, and the salarian sees thousands of rachni. He looks over at the krogan and says, "Well, that makes me nervous." The krogan says, "You think that's scary? When this is over, I have to go back down through that fog by myself!" (told by Joker - Mass Effect 3)

In for Evil Genius, thanks! =)

In for Evil Genius. Please. Thanks

A man walks into a bar with a monkey he had just bought at the pet store. He sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The monkey jumps down off his shoulder and runs over to the pool table and ate the cue-ball.
The bartender says "Your monkey just ate the cue-ball!!! GET OUT NOW!!" so the man picks up the monkey and leaves.
Two months later the same man comes back with the monkey on a leash. The monkey jumps off his shoulder and grabs a peanut, shoves it up his ass, pulls it out then eats it.
The bartender says " Did your monkey just shove a peanut up his ass then eat it?"
The man says "Yeah ever since the cue-ball incident he checks everything for size"

Not in.

But:

Three nuns come to heaven. St. Peter says to them: "Sorry girls, Heaven is overcrowded. To enter you must proove your faith by answering one question correctly."

He asks the first nun: "Who was the first man on earth?"
Nun: "Oh, that's an easy one. That was Adam!"
Peter: "Right. You may enter."

Then he asks the second nun: "Who was the first woman on earth?"
Nun: "Oh, that's an easy one. That was Eve!"
Peter: "Right. You may enter."

Then he asks the third nun: "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"
Nun: "Oh. That's a hard one ..."
Peter: "Right. You may enter."

In for megareace couse it reminds me of carmageddon and i've never heard of it, thanks! :)

So here goes:

A Roman walks into a bar, sticks 2 fingers down to the barman and says, "5 beers, please."

not in! +1! :) I don't know any jokes :P

Really nice giveaway Exoanthrope:)

Not in +1 just here to read the jokes...

Not in, but thanks.

If Olive oil is made from Olives and Vegetable oils from Vegetables, then what is Baby oil made from???

Thanks for the giveaway, i am in for Edna & Harvey: Harvey's new eyes. (was going to say evil genius as opposed to sherlock being a "good" genius but i love adventure games)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,
-Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
-Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
-Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
-Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
-Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.

But what does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment.

“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

Im in for Edna, and I have the perfect terrible and silly joke, its basically the first one I ever heard.

Two men are standing on a bridge...one man falls down.....and the other is called Herbert! LOLOLOLOL (many lols indicate additional funness)

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."