You need to play this game 1st - http://www.anvil-soft.com/english/ePrKlomanager.htm, then you'll find the answer.

verging?!
Oh I think we passed that point way way way back there.

You've got to be seriously in need of help to post this so try this. Pour in a large pot of boiling hot water with a small amount of dishwashing liquid in it and see if that helps. Let it stay about 20 min/half an hour before you use your plunger. You've tried a plunger, right? One of those cup plungers won't work. You need one called a flange plunger to get rid of a clog in a toilet. If it's really stubborn and that doesn't do any good, you probably need an auger.

You are doomed, you gave birth to a sentient poop and it doesn't want to leave.

This reminds of the text adventure game Don't Shit Your Pants. :P

www.silvergames.com/dont-shit-your-pants

Ha! I'd forgotten that exsisted.

A massive weasel turd will soon be upon us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2DEpC2oMws

The turd has breached the walls!

Have you tried shooting it ?

Stooner will clean it up. He likes it.

You need professional help. For only $200 per hour and expenses I'll come over. Problem should be solved in only a few days. ;-)

Call George Lucas, Peter Jackson or Michael Bay, they're used to dealing with gigantic piles of shit. Spielberg probably knows somebody that cleans up elephant crap after those times he's filmed movies with elephants.

OP, follow these steps up to the point they apply to you.

1) If you don't have gloves then use a plastic shopping bag.

2) If you don't have a plastic shopping bag, get one from a nearby store.

3) If you don't have a store nearby, curl into a fetal position and try not to cry.

4) If you can't not cry, then cry.

5) Let your tears drown all of civilization.

6) Once everything is drowned, the poop will float up out of the toilet. Problem solved.

This happens to me on a bimontly basis, so do not worry. Just pick up the toilet brush and go all hack 'n' slash on the turd (NOT with the pointy end). When your rebel creation has been torn to pieces, flush, keeping your loyal weapon under the flow of water. If there still are remainings of your glorious battle on your mighty weapon, just hit the walls of the pit with it until your weapon is cleansed of all guilt and ready to strike again at any might foe it might encounter.

I go through this every day or 2. The plunger is your best friend.