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morolf: The urine-soaked pants are disgusting, I pick them up with a tree branch and throw them in the neighbours' garden. "The dignity of a mighty king" is much better though, I sell it on ebay.

I recently found a note from a certain "Dr. Xenija", asking for help: "Help, I'm being kept captive by this weird cult! They're responsible for all the recent fires, because they worship the fire god and want to burn everything down. They've also said that they're going to burn me alive as a sacrifice in a wicker man. Please notify police, I think I'm in a warehouse near the harbour."
What a distasteful joke. I leave the note to the next user.
I burn the note, because I'm the cult leader. I leave behind a flamethrower and a unicorn sticker pack.
I can't confirm nor deny that Lady-Jaye is indeed the cult leader.
There's lots of room for doubt left about that.

I clean the flamethrower, and make sure that there aren't any fingerprints nor genetic material to be found.
It's refurbished and refilled, and has a nice sticker of a reddish unicorn casting fireball. The finder will surely have fun with it.
But wait, there is more: A coupon for a free sundae after a hard day's hot work is attached.
I take the remaining unicorn stickers with me. Awesome!

v TLDR: You get doubt, flamethrower(refurbished), voucher for a sundae
Post edited September 19, 2020 by MightyFloTheKing
I grab the sundae voucher and leave the flamethrower and the doubt for someone else to have fun with.

Yummy.
I use the flame thrower to set the world alight and watch it burn as that's the kind of man I am, I leave the next posters soul as Satan didn't what it and fined anyone willing to pay me more the £3.15 for it.
I go to an enchanter and have thraxman's soul imprisoned in a diamond, attached to a bracelet which I always wear. It grants me extraordinary powers and turns me into one of the most charismatic people on earth, greatly aiding my rise to supreme lord, hahahahaha.

I write another self-help book, this time entitled "How to gain power by using occult soul magic" and leave it to the next user.
Thanks for that I am now free to return to incinerating the Earth, I leave an early exclusive preview copy of Cyberpunk 2077 for Xbox series S
I sell the preview copy of Cyberpunk 2070 and buy a fire truck with that money. I really like living on earth (especially, since I can't change dimensions, the plain or the time and I'm stuck with one form of existence, which is 'living').
That's why I leave the fire truck with a note to please fight the fires. I can't be bothered with that because I'm busy playing games.
Post edited September 20, 2020 by MightyFloTheKing
**I ship the fire truck to the west coast of the U.S. and leave a puppy that got separated from her adoptive family**
The firetruck is set on fire as "protest" and never used to put any out; I earn the puppy's trust with a nibble of Arby's chicken and take her home. The good news is, being only 5 pounds, her daily diet is a 10c hot-dog. She proves to have a terrible habit of staying within a footstep's reach behind me where I can't see her, and makes a horrible yelp whenever I step backward. Sitting with her in my lap without frequent eye-contact earns me a particularly ear-splitting yelp, at which point I take her into another room and throw her like a football onto couch cushions or pillows. Low fur density shows she's also a dreadful flea-magnet, bringing home dozens with every walk despite wearing 3 different flea medicines.

THIS is the dog I leave to someone else, to spare my ears any further suffering.
Post edited September 20, 2020 by MichaelD.965
^ **Throws the thank you note from the U.S. Forest Service**

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MichaelD.965: The firetruck is set on fire as "protest" and never used to put any out; I earn the puppy's trust with a nibble of Arby's chicken and take her home. The good news is, being only 5 pounds, her daily diet is a 10c hot-dog. She proves to have a terrible habit of staying within a footstep's reach behind me where I can't see her, and makes a horrible yelp whenever I step backward. Sitting with her in my lap without frequent eye-contact earns me a particularly ear-splitting yelp, at which point I take her into another room and throw her like a football onto couch cushions or pillows. Low fur density shows she's also a dreadful flea-magnet, bringing home dozens with every walk despite wearing 3 different flea medicines.

THIS is the dog I leave to someone else, to spare my ears any further suffering.
**I accept the cute little puppy back. She is obviously constipated because she'd doing the "boot scoot." I give her some chicken broth with a pinch of ginger and she poops out a diamond ring which must have belonged to her previous owner. A name is engraved on the inside of the band and I locate her owner and collect a $1,000.000 dollar reward for the dog and the ring and donate the proceeds to help fight the wildfire's in the western United States.
The donation receiver is secretly a "protester" and instead uses the money to bail out fellow "protesters" who then start more fires as "protest".

I leave warning signs on the California border telling everyone how beyond all hope it is.
The absence of all hope for mankind would be a great opportunity to recruit more members for the cult, but there is no more room in the spaceship that will come to save my brothers and sisters. You guys had the chance...

Instead, I put some unicorn stickers on your warning signs, along with some crude drawings of what seems to be a rocket-spaceship (it's not)...

I leave a water cannon filled with half water, half tear gas, now you can fight fires and protesters.
I leave a red pill and a blue pill for the next poster. Are you in for the Charlie Foxtrot that is this thread or are you out?
Post edited September 21, 2020 by Hooyaah
I'm not into taking pills (could lead to addiction...or to developing a strange psychosis, like thinking our world is just an illusion created by some artificial intelligence), so I flush both pills down in the next toilet I can find.

I'm really worried about this cult activity I've been reading so much about. I print out a few hundred leaflets with the profile pic of MightyFlotheKing and "Dangerous cult leader. Wanted dead or alive" written above, and leave a few dozen of them to the next user. We need to put an end to this menace!
Post edited September 21, 2020 by morolf
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morolf: I'm not into taking pills (could lead to addiction...or to developing a strange psychosis, like thinking our world is just an illusion created by some artificial intelligence), so I flush both pills down in the next toilet I can find.

I'm really worried about this cult activity I've been reading so much about. I print out a few hundred leaflets with the profile pic of MightyFlotheKing and "Dangerous cult leader. Wanted dead or alive" written above, and leave a few dozen of them to the next user. We need to put an end to this menace!
I cross out the words "Dangerous cult leader" and replace them with "Usurper" on each of the posters. I then fold each one into an origami crane. I leave behind the origami cranes and a container of glitter.